guiding-highly-sensitive-people-misunderstood-podcast-candace-van-dell

How I Changed My Family Role & Healed

 

Episode: 17

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Redefining Family Boundaries: My Journey from Scapegoat to Self-Empowerment

As many of you know, I firmly believe that 2024 was the year of authenticity. It was the time to heal, shift, and complete cycles, particularly those rooted in family dynamics. My journey began not just in this past year but over eight years ago when I stood up and declared, “I am not your scapegoat anymore.”

For too long, I was the sensitive one in my family, constantly blamed for everything. My ability to see and feel what others denied made me the scapegoat. But the constant gaslighting, where my painful and scary emotions were dismissed, pushed me into a corner of self-abandonment. It was a choice between abandoning my true self or being abandoned by my tribe.

I bet many of you relate, especially if you’ve been labeled the “sensitive” one. For anyone in this situation needing a supportive community, I urge you to join our Truth Room. We meet every Monday evening at 8pm US Eastern Time. We’ve created this space for people like us—to heal, rebuild, and claim our truths.

Reflecting on my own experience, I realized it wasn’t my inner child’s fault. Our inner child did what was necessary to survive in a toxic environment. Praise your inner child for knowing how to navigate undependable situations. I did the same when I moved to Tokyo at 17, leaving behind a chaotic environment that no longer served me.

When you shift your role within your family, the entire dynamic changes. It took courage, stepping away from being the scapegoat and seeing the reality for what it was: a family in denial. Validation of my worth had to come from within, not from those who couldn’t see it. This journey led to my own personal breakthroughs, like achieving straight A’s in college without dependence on Ritalin once I was free from the chaos.

Fast forward to this year, I moved to Atlanta, and serendipity reconnected me with my sister, brother-in-law, niece, and nephew after over a decade. My steadfast belief in my truth was contagious. It ignited a transformation in my family.

Now, instead of being the problem, I am seen as someone who brings understanding and light.

Shifting my role and embracing my authentic self healed not just me but also started the healing process in my family. Are we perfect? No. But the growth and connection we now share are priceless.

If you’re yearning for a change in your family role, here’s what I learned: Own your truth, even if it means walking alone for a while. The right people will see you, understand you, and join you in your journey of healing.

For more in-depth insights and to immerse yourself in the full journey, catch the entire episode above or on your preferred podcast platform. Let’s continue healing together, supporting each other, and living our authentic lives.

Don’t forget to follow me on Instagram for daily inspiration and real talk.

In this episode:
00:00:22 – Healing Predictions
00:01:23 – Coping Mechanisms
00:01:49 – Praise Your Inner Child
00:02:22 – Being the Scapegoat
00:03:02 – The Truth Room Community
00:03:27 – Diagnosed Patient
00:04:02 – Changing My Role
00:05:20 – Facing the Scapegoater
00:06:10 – Validating Your Own Worth
00:06:35 – Moving to Georgia
00:07:13 – Family Realizations
00:08:10 – Speaking Your Truth
00:09:22 – Conclusion

Meet the Host

Candace Van Dell

As a Spiritual Coach & New Thought Leader, Candace focuses on a soul-centered approach to healing. It is her belief that many of our negative “symptoms” are signs that we are out of alignment with our true selves. We have been conditioned to align with external authorities, societal ideals, out of date learning styles and perfectionistic standards.

We can’t experience or maintain true health unless we are true to ourselves. To clear unwanted symptoms, we must get back into alignment with what we FEEL.

“We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

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