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Answering Questions With Candace

 

Episode: 19

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Answering Your Deep Dive Questions

We took a deep dive into your questions about relationships, toxic friendships, and personal growth.

The Mirror of Relationships
One of the most common questions I get revolves around relationships. Whether it’s friendships, family, or romantic relationships—they all serve as mirrors reflecting parts of ourselves that we haven’t yet healed or empowered. These relationships mirror our core wounds and gifts, making them essential for our personal growth. I like to call this the ‘golden shadow’ and ‘dark shadow’ work.

When we delve into shadow work—something many of you are curious about—it’s all about coming face-to-face with parts of ourselves that we often keep hidden. I’ve designed an amazing course on Shadow Work to guide you through healing the mother wound, father wound, generational trauma, and more. Trust me, facing these aspects helps us evolve into our true selves.

Letting Go of Toxic Friendships
Another question that came up was about how to let go of a toxic friendship. It’s crucial to normalize friendships ending or transforming, just like romantic relationships. These endings don’t necessarily mean that something is wrong with you or the friendship itself. Sometimes, letting go is a necessary step in your mutual growth. If a friendship isn’t serving mutual respect, boundaries, or your current vision of life, it might be time to step away.

I’ve had friendships that reappeared years later, more aligned and healthy. So don’t view these endings as failures but as transitions that allow for personal growth.

The Lessons from Divorce
I also got a lot of questions about my divorce. Let me be real—divorce was the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced. It brought up old traumas, childhood memories, and triggered a deep healing process within me. What I learned is the importance of securely attaching to yourself and not seeking validation from external relationships.

Relationships are often reflective of our inner worlds. So, going through my divorce taught me how incredibly capable and empowered I am when free from attachments and safety nets.

The Reuniting with a Past Love
Interestingly, life has a way of surprising you. A major plot twist in my story was reuniting with someone I was in a relationship with 14 years ago, before my marriage. This person re-entered my life completely randomly, triggering a beautiful alignment of our souls. The years apart allowed us both to grow and heal individually, making this unexpected reunion feel like a divine alignment.

Understanding Narcissism and Codependency
Lastly, someone asked about the difference between narcissism and codependency. Both are rooted in denying one’s true self during childhood. The narcissist adopts a false self, while the codependent highlights the needs of others, often losing themselves in the process. Healing involves facing these hidden parts of yourself through shadow work.

For those interested in diving deeper, check out my Shadow Work course. Also, consider starting with my Emotional Rehab course to find your true identity before diving into Shadow Work.

Thank you for your thoughtful questions. Your engagement allows us to cover such meaningful and transformative topics. If you have more questions, feel free to DM me on Instagram or send me a message here. We’re all on this journey of self-discovery together.

Don’t forget to subscribe to my newsletter for exclusive content, special sales, and weekly updates. Share this podcast with anyone who might benefit from understanding their inner child, core wounds, and the complex dynamics of relationships.

In this episode:
00:00:20 Introduction
00:01:19 Relationships as Reflection
00:02:13 Shadow Work
00:02:56 Letting Go of Toxic Friendships
00:07:12 Divorce
00:15:50 New Relationship
00:21:39 Narcissism and Codependency
00:23:06 Courses and Coaching

Meet the Host

Candace Van Dell

As a Spiritual Coach & New Thought Leader, Candace focuses on a soul-centered approach to healing. It is her belief that many of our negative “symptoms” are signs that we are out of alignment with our true selves. We have been conditioned to align with external authorities, societal ideals, out of date learning styles and perfectionistic standards.

We can’t experience or maintain true health unless we are true to ourselves. To clear unwanted symptoms, we must get back into alignment with what we FEEL.

“We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”

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