
The Biggest Lie In the Spiritual Community
Episode: 20
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Why Spiritual Awakening Isn’t All Rainbows and Butterflies
Today’s episode is incredibly close to my heart, and I just had to share it with you all right away.
I recently got out of a session with my Truth Room group, and we had an intense conversation about awakening and the misconceptions around it. One of the biggest lies I’ve encountered in the spiritual community—and something I’ve also covered in my YouTube video about being “too conscious for this world”—is the belief that once you become your true, authentic self, everything will fall into place.
The Reality of Awakening
Contrary to popular belief, awakening isn’t a one-stop solution to all your problems. Many people think that once they reclaim their authentic selves, life will be all rainbows and butterflies. But let me set the record straight: that’s not the case. Awakening often includes going through an incubation phase, a period where you’re transitioning from your old programming to a new reality. This phase can be challenging and lonely, but it’s essential for true growth.
Understanding Conditioning and False Idols
Many of us grew up with conditioning that made us believe our worth is tied to how others treat us. This belief can screw you up; trust me, I’ve been there. I grew up getting blamed for everything, thinking my parents’ rejection was my fault. But eventually, I realized that it wasn’t me; it was them being in denial of their issues. This kind of conditioning can lead you to believe that you must be perfect to avoid rejection, which is a dangerous and false narrative.
The Importance of Source Connection
In our group meeting, one of the members mentioned that she started a meditation practice to feel supported in her truth. She noticed a change in how her husband treated her. The reason? She had made Source her primary support system, thereby removing the power from false idols, like her husband. When you make Source your dominant energy, other people naturally align with that energy or fall away.
The Incubation Phase: A Necessary Transition
Going through the incubation phase means you have to confront all those suppressed feelings and memories. I personally went through this phase for about two years. It was a tough journey where I lost friends, shifted careers, and even got diagnosed with an autoimmune disease. But this phase was necessary for releasing the old to make way for the new. It’s about trusting in the process, even when things don’t look promising.
Anchoring in Self-Worth
One key measure of healing is your window of tolerance—your ability to handle both validation and triggers without getting emotionally swayed. When you have a secure sense of self-worth, external validations or rejections no longer determine your self-esteem. It’s all about securely attaching to yourself.
Law of Attraction Misunderstood
Another misconception I tackled is around the Law of Attraction. It’s not that you attract what you are, but what you think you are. Situations come into your life to challenge your self-beliefs, not to confirm them. How you relate to these challenges determines your experience and growth.
The Journey Ahead
Healing and awakening are not easy paths, but they are incredibly rewarding. You have to be okay with things not being okay for a while. But eventually, when you align all aspects of yourself and take off the rose-colored glasses, life will present opportunities that anchor your truth even more deeply.
I hope this episode gives you some clarity and inspiration to continue on your path of awakening and self-discovery. Please check out my Instagram for daily reels and my website for more resources. If you’re ready for a deep dive, consider joining my Inner Work Healing class or the I Am Worthy course.
I love you all and I’m here to support you on this journey. Watch the full episode above and let’s keep growing together.
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In this episode:
00:00:35 Awakening and healing misconceptions
00:03:37 Incubation phase
00:05:13 Source and false idols
00:07:30 Somatic release and journey challenges
00:09:26 Window of tolerance
00:11:00 Self-worth and rejection
00:14:03 Authentic purpose and opportunities
00:15:20 Resources and closing
Meet the Host
Candace Van Dell
As a Spiritual Coach & New Thought Leader, Candace focuses on a soul-centered approach to healing. It is her belief that many of our negative “symptoms” are signs that we are out of alignment with our true selves. We have been conditioned to align with external authorities, societal ideals, out of date learning styles and perfectionistic standards.
We can’t experience or maintain true health unless we are true to ourselves. To clear unwanted symptoms, we must get back into alignment with what we FEEL.
“We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Work With Candace: