Stop Outsourcing Your Worth: Healing Anxious Attachment

In today’s episode, we’re diving deep into anxious attachment. If any part of you feels on edge in your relationships or you find yourself constantly second-guessing whether you’re “enough”… this is for you.

Let’s talk about the journey from anxious attachment to secure self-love, and why this transformation is possible for you, no matter where you’re starting from.

My Story with Anxious Attachment

For a huge chapter of my life, I had anxious attachment patterns running my relationships. I know intimately how it feels to look for your worth in others, to think your safety depends on someone else’s approval. I worked through it (the hard way) with deep, honest inner work, especially with my own inner child. That’s why I’m so passionate about sharing this healing path with you.

Why We Get Stuck in Anxious Attachment

So many of us were shaped by the environments we grew up in. If you had caregivers who made you feel unsafe shining your light, you probably learned to dim it… to “play small” just to keep the peace. This pattern gets internalized. Now, as adults, that scared inner child keeps surfacing, telling us it’s not safe to show up for ourselves or our dreams.

The problem is, when we stay in this anxious cycle, we keep trying to find safety by attaching to someone (or something) outside ourselves. We crave a secure energy to anchor us, and we’re convinced it has to come from another person, a job, or external validation. That’s a recipe for codependency, heartbreak, and chronic insecurity.

The Secret: Secure Attachment to Yourself

Here’s the secret I wish someone had spelled out for me years ago: You become securely attached when you become securely attached to yourself and something higher, like your own purpose or spirituality.

Healing anxious attachment isn’t about finding the “perfect” partner to soothe you. It’s about meeting your wounded inner child with compassion, honoring those survival mechanisms, and choosing, again and again, to be the loving, sturdy parent you always needed. When you show up for yourself this way, everything changes. You quit abandoning yourself for toxic situations and kick self-sabotage to the curb.

How I Did the Work (And How You Can, Too!)

I can’t stress this enough: Deep inner child work is what changed my life. It’s why I created the Inner Work Healing Program, because I saw first-hand how powerful reparenting is.
 

• Notice When You’re Triggered: Are you shutting down when you get close to a dream or speaking your truth? That’s your wounded inner child calling out for safety.
• Talk to Your Inner Child: Acknowledge her fear. Let her know you understand and you’re here now… you’re not going to abandon her.
• Become the Parent You Needed: If you didn’t have a loving or supportive example, imagine the fairy godmother or caring parent you always wished for. Start embodying that for yourself.
• Anchor Into Your True Purpose: When you do this inner work, you connect to your authentic self, and your true purpose can shine through… no more living by fear or external approval.

You Deserve Unconditional Love – From YOU

Stop transactionally loving yourself only when you meet impossible standards or when others approve. Secure self-love means you’re worthy now, in every messy, beautiful step of your journey. When you anchor into this, no person or situation can take your power from you.

Ready for the Next Step?

If this resonates, watch the full episode above, where I break down actionable steps and personal stories to help you step into secure attachment now. And if you’re ready to go even deeper, join me on the Inner Work Healing Program – designed for deep transformation.

You deserve to feel whole, safe, and aligned with your true purpose. I’m here to guide you every step of the way.

In this episode:

00:00:00 – Introduction & Anxious Attachment
00:04:30 – Inner Child Work
00:05:24 – Secure Attachment to Self
00:06:32 – Becoming Your Own Parent
00:07:57 – Anchoring into Purpose
00:10:27 – Closing