Self Love In Action
Episode: 3
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I’m so excited to dive into one of the most transformative topics we can discuss – self-love. It’s a concept that many of us struggle with. We don’t know how to define it, feel it, or even keep it once we’ve had a glimpse. But today, I want to share some insights and personal experiences that can help you understand and cultivate self-love in your own life.
What Does Self-Love Look Like?
First, let’s talk about what loving all parts of yourself looks like. It’s about accepting and appreciating every aspect of who you are, even the parts you’re not particularly fond of. Self-love means being kind to yourself, forgiving yourself, and nurturing your well-being. On the flip side, a lack of self-love often manifests as self-criticism, neglect, and even self-sabotage.
Internal vs. External Validation
A critical component of self-love is understanding the difference between internal and external validation. Internal validation comes from within—it’s your sense of self-worth and confidence that isn’t reliant on others’ opinions. External validation, however, depends on praise, approval, and acceptance from others. While external validation can feel good temporarily, it’s the internal validation that sustains long-term happiness and self-love.
Why Do We Attract Narcissists?
One intriguing topic we cover is why some of us keep attracting narcissists. Often, it’s a reflection of our own unresolved issues and insecurities. Narcissists are drawn to those who seek external validation, as they can manipulate and control them more easily. By building a strong foundation of self-love, you can break this cycle and attract healthier, more supportive relationships.
Acknowledging Authentic Feelings
An essential step in the self-love journey is acknowledging your authentic feelings. This means being honest with yourself about how you’re feeling, without judgment. It’s about loving the person experiencing those feelings, even if you don’t love the feelings themselves. For instance, you don’t have to love the fact that you’re feeling anxious or reactive, but you do need to love yourself for experiencing those emotions.
My Personal Journey
I also share my personal journey in finding self-love and living an authentic life. It wasn’t an overnight transformation—it took time, patience, and a lot of self-reflection. But through this journey, I’ve learned the power of unconditional self-love. This kind of love means embracing yourself wholeheartedly, flaws and all.
Unconditional Self-Love
Unconditional self-love is about accepting yourself in every moment, regardless of your feelings or circumstances. It’s the act of loving yourself for who you are, not just for how you feel or what you achieve. This means giving yourself permission to love yourself no matter what.
Give Yourself Permission
Finally, I encourage you to give yourself a permission slip to love yourself unconditionally. Allow yourself to be imperfect, to have bad days, and to make mistakes. Self-love isn’t about being perfect; it’s about being real and compassionate with yourself.
Take Action
So, how can you start practicing self-love today? Here are a few actionable steps:
- Practice Self-Compassion: Speak to yourself kindly, especially during tough times.
- Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to things that drain your energy and yes to things that nourish you.
- Reflect and Journal: Spend time each day reflecting on your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help you process and understand them better.
- Surround Yourself with Positivity: Engage with people and activities that uplift and inspire you.
Remember, self-love is a journey, not a destination. It’s about making small, consistent efforts to honor and care for yourself. You deserve to be loved and appreciated—especially by yourself.
Thank you for joining me on this journey to self-love. Let’s continue to support each other and grow together.
In this episode:
01:07 – Deep Dive Into Self Love
01:48 – Defining Self Love
04:37 – Transforming Self Love: Embracing Imperfections
05:33 – Insights On Self-Worth and Confidence
06:24 – Internal Worth vs. External Validation
08:50 – Client Reflections On Self Celebration
10:42 – Candace’s Personal Journey and Insights
13:34 – Unconditional Love and Self Growth
Meet the Host
Candace Van Dell
As a Spiritual Coach & New Thought Leader, Candace focuses on a soul-centered approach to healing. It is her belief that many of our negative “symptoms” are signs that we are out of alignment with our true selves. We have been conditioned to align with external authorities, societal ideals, out of date learning styles and perfectionistic standards.
We can’t experience or maintain true health unless we are true to ourselves. To clear unwanted symptoms, we must get back into alignment with what we FEEL.
“We are not humans having a spiritual experience, we are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Work With Candace:
