Hello beautiful tribe,
I want to share something with you guys that feels very vulnerable, true, and powerful in its own way. Recently, as many of you may already know, I spontaneously became pregnant for the first time in my life at age 44. This came as a beautiful surprise given my age and the fact I have never been pregnant before and was not even sure I wanted that. But the moment this miracle came to be, I embraced it like no other. I instantly felt ready, happy, blessed, and accepting of this adventure. I knew there was less than a 1% chance of conceiving as we did and I also knew the chances of a healthy pregnancy were against us. I held onto hope that this new direction was going to continue.
For 8 weeks, I loved living for someone else, taking care of myself, and making future choices that would differ now that I had a family to consider. The truth is, I felt CHOSEN for maybe the first time.
Right before we planned to share this news, we found out that our miracle pregnancy would end in miscarriage. I was devastated as you can imagine, but also feeling this intense wave of GRATITUDE at the same time. I felt as if this little soul was giving me a message to take forward. We have all watched movies where people see their highlight reel flash before their eyes before they die. I had a similar experience. I was shown these flashes of amazing things I had done and things I needed to give more credit to. I saw this very clear image of my life in COLOR. I felt so excited about this and so happy to be living my life. At that moment, I realized it was the baby that was leaving now. The baby had given me this highlight reel of ME. This may sound weird to some, but it is the best way I can explain it.
When the baby passed on, I had to mourn deeply and in that mourning, I felt I released YEARS of stored pain. But now weeks later, I want to share the GIFT of that experience because it is so abundantly clear to me and it is something I feel so many of us can apply.
Becoming pregnant made me feel CAPABLE in a way I did not experience before. Losing the baby made me feel FEARLESS in a way I did not experience before. These MOMENTS we live are all about what we gain from those moments, not what we lose when they no longer continue.
I feel I have gained a DOCTORAL DEGREE IN SHADOW WORK these past few years. The SHINE that has come over me is something I cannot deny. I just feel different, I am different. I spoke to a group of women today that I had never met and it was so clear to me that my fearlessness is REAL and she is ready to rip. I have this incredible EXCITEMENT about being visible on a whole new level. To speak and share and stand up and lead on a whole new level. I have cleared maybe ALL of the shame I have ever felt. I have gone through the depths and feel I am now reaching higher to the heights.
I share this because I need to let you know that the LIVE EVENTS & RETREATS you have been asking me to do… they are happening THIS YEAR!!!! We are busy organizing things now so I will have dates etc. for you in just a little while.
Thank you for holding space for my intimate share. It has been so nice to feel such support around me during this time and to know that I have created the most profound community.
Before I go, I want to remind you of some new videos on YouTube in case you wish to check out some new inspo.
P.S. This topic (miscarriage) is not talked about enough. I was astounded by how many women I know have shared this experience with me. I will do my best to share more and make it a topic to understand and feel less SHAME about because there is NO SHAME in the loss of a pregnancy.
And many more….. I was on fire with my videos last month 😉
Also I want to encourage you to do your own SHADOW WORK! It is truly a game changer, life clearer and miracle maker. If you wish to start this journey with me by your side, please check out my SHADOW WORK COURSE!!! This is my 12-week deep dive. I show up for you every week to answer questions and coach live. There are also a ton of video lessons, assignments that are very easy but profound, journaling, meditations, EFT and the whole deal. This is a top course for anyone who knows my work. In this course, you will heal Mother, Father, Tribal wounds and clear your shadow to align with your SHINE (I am not kidding). Amazing things happen when we dive into the GOLDEN parts of us that we feel unworthy of, when we stop projecting our power onto others and DARE TO OWN IT OURSELVES.
Class starts March 1, 2023!
You can do it at your own pace and the private Facebook forum where the lives are held is open to you all year! This is your community now.
ALSO, if you are interested in healing narcissistic/codependent wounds from family or relationships, consider my INNER WORK (small group coaching). This starts February 8, 2023.
Other than that, I want to share a new offering I am busy creating right now and would LOVE your thoughts. I am creating an all men’s (inner work for highly sensitive men group). This will be held Monday evenings for 8 weeks. We will start it in March. If you are a highly sensitive man or you know any who need this please send them to my newsletter. We will be launching in a couple of weeks! Please respond to this email if you have any ideas for this group. If you prefer a certain time, etc.
Thanks again for being here and being you.
Lots of LOVE,