How are you lovely souls? I want to talk about that next level that often feels like a backslide. It’s not, we just have some inner child work to do.
When we do our healing work we can immediately feel understood for the first time. We feel like “Wow, someone gets me and I am in the right place now.” We start to have some aha moments, patterns are shifting, we are feeling good, and then BOOM. It stops, we get triggered, we feel sick, and we find ourselves in an old situation.
What on earth does this mean? Did I fail at this inner work? Is it just never going to work for me? I cannot understand how on earth I “attracted” this again.
Do you guys know what I am talking about?
There are a couple of different scenarios I want to bring up today. First of all, when we dive into our inner work head first, our subconscious mind is trying harder to protect us from ourselves. So as you heal back to your authentic self, your former “coping mechanisms” are working hard to keep you from this new empowered self, Why? Because as a child you decided that your authentic self is what was wrong or not getting your needs met so you abandoned her/him on some level. Maybe you just dimmed your light or quieted that inner voice. In a way, you stopped being you as a way of getting love, approval, and belonging.
So now that you are ready to belong to YOU, your coping mechanisms are giving you pushback. Please know this is normal and it is your opportunity to REPARENT that inner child in a way you may never have heard before. You get to acknowledge your resistance, HONOR it, yep honor your former choice. And then chose to upgrade with your new awareness and choice to never abandon self again. This may take some time to get your old ways on board with your new way of being. This is not a backslide, it is your subconscious doing the job it was trained to do.
Secondly, many of you start the inner work and then you realize that you feel DISCONNECTED OR DETACHED from what you want or what to do. This is also normal. You are SEPARATE FROM YOUR INNER CHILD. You used to live according to OTHERS and now you are starting to live according to YOU, but since YOU have been silenced a little, she/he may not pop out for you right away. There may be some resistance, sadness, and uncertainty. I encourage you to see that this is also a process, but an exciting one. I had two clients today who both started to wake up to their truth and owning it and they both had interesting processes I would like to share with you.
I did what I call an inner with both of them. My male client was contacting his inner child and as soon as I asked him to go to his young self, he couldn’t. Then I asked his inner child to come to him and again he froze. His neck started feeling stiff and he was not able to disconnect. To me, I saw his neck freeze as the tunnel that connects the head and the heart. Your inner child is your heart.
He doesn’t trust his inner child yet and vice versa. As a child, he was told his authentic self was weird and he was sent to a mental hospital. He was never diagnosed with anything so he just lived with this decision that it is safe to disconnect from this flawed part of him. I helped him to see it all differently and I sent him home with an assignment to reframe the adults in his life. See how they just did not get him. See that his inner child was not weird or wrong, just had misunderstood needs. He already has started to soften.
My female client has just started seeing her family for who they are. Her Mother was slightly narcissistic and sister too. She got loved when she was there for them, did things for them and was the caretaker. She has recently cut them off and now she feels unsure of how to live. I told her this is the time to live for herself. We did an inner and her inner child came to join us, BUT her back was turned to her. I told her it makes sense that she doesn’t know what to do. She used to be so vivacious and mouthy as a child. Now she suffers with throat issues and is shy. I told her that her inner child was not going to turn and meet her, but that she has some work to do to shed her false self to meet her inner child within her truth.
This work is profound and there is always more to do as long as you are triggered and finding yourself in patterns that feel STUCK.
I encourage you to acknowledge your inner child daily. Notice who you were at age 5 and see how far away from that you are today. Your inner child will lead you home.
Please know that my INNER WORK group will start Feb. 8 and we have ONE spot left if you feel called to join us.
I am so grateful for all of you who continue to show up for yourselves, me and the collective we are all so much a part of. You are all so incredible and I adore you.
Big Love to you all,