Hello beautiful tribe,
How are you all doing? I have been feeling a different sense of FREEDOM since the new year. Freedom to share more deeply and more personally without the fear of others not understanding… You know what I mean.
As I have done many many years of INNER WORK now, I have come to the place of Self Sovereignty. Often, when I talk about this, people ask me what exactly that means? To put it briefly, I will say it is living in a state of complete SELF TRUST! How many of you do that? How many of you live in a state of complete self-trust without any doubt at all? Sounds crazy right? How do we ever even reach that place?
I grew up with a TON of self doubt. Most people around me could not understand it, because I had many talents and was pretty outgoing. BUT, I also had a secret I was carrying around that made me socially shy at times and also internally anxious almost all the time.
I have been speaking more openly about this lately as I have been doing more podcasts and getting ready to FINALLY release my book this year. It has been a LONG TIME COMING. The reason it has taken me so long is because I still had a slight ounce of DOUBT about how it would be received. This was until I could FULLY VALIDATE MY OWN TRUTH.
When I was young and diagnosed with ADHD, I felt such shame. I felt so deeply misunderstood and so lost in a society who truly could not SEE me, my gifts or my value. I didn’t feel I fit in. Not because I didn’t feel like I fit in, but because they told me I didn’t. I started to carry this unseen shame, uncertain identity and confusion. I knew in order to survive, I had to fit in and be loved… but did that mean I had to STOP BEING ME in the process?
I did a pretty good job of fighting for what I felt and I tried really hard to explain my ways. I was a truth teller. I could tell when someone was lying, not liking me, not being authentic. I thrived when I loved my teachers and I failed when I didn’t. I thrived when I was stimulated and challenged and failed when I was bored and not interested. I had many outlets to release my energy and feel self expressed, but the whole time I carried that self doubt with me.
I went for my dreams, but also sabotaged them when I would potentially shine too bright. I found a happy medium of living in between my dreams, if you know what I mean.
This started to change about a decade ago. I got really SICK OF DIMMING MY LIGHT. I decided to go back to the way I was as a child and QUESTION EVERYTHING. I decided to stop hiding and started sharing all of my unique ideals on YouTube and with others OUT LOUD.
I decided that society was not my authority, but spiritual law sounded better to my heart.
I had to go against my conditioning and the labeling and live as if I had nothing to lose except for myself.
Do you feel me?
Like many of you, I struggled for many years of my life with truly LOVING ME FEARLESSLY. We are always looking for “permission” to truly feel safe enough to love ourselves. We have this fear that others will prove us wrong or take away our power. We start to just give our power away to these external forces. But the reality is we can only give our power away to an OPINION if we also agree. I started to DISAGREE a lot. I said NO a lot. I grew into these strong ass boundaries that said, “Let me check that out for myself before I allow this or believe that.”
Yes, this takes courage and guts!! The result of such actions is to build SELF TRUST. You start to believe that you will be there for you. You believe you have your own back. You SELF PARTNER. As we do this, we start to watch our life align with what is best for us. What feels like a match WITHIN. We start to attract people who compliment us rather than constantly create a challenge. We don’t need to live in a constant CONTRAST. We can actually start to accept an easier way.
Life may have been a fight for you at the beginning. It definitely was for me. I felt I was fighting against the world’s view of me. Now I feel like I am sharing a truth with the world that makes sense to people and it brings more union rather than separation. The more union we have in ourselves, the more united we become as a world. SELF TRUST is the start of that. Dare to trust yourself regardless of what others think.
What is your TRUTH? I encourage you to TELL YOUR TRUTH ;-). It will truly set you free!!!
New video – HIGHLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE & SELF DOUBT:
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